taking the boy out of iowa

You can take the boy out of Iowa, but you can't take Iowa out of the boy, I'm afraid.

I apologize for having not written more the past weeks, but truthfully I haven't been up to much. I have, rather unfortunately, reached the "low stage" of my time here in Thailand. I have been tiring of the city quite a bit, as of late, partly because I haven't really been able to leave, and partly because I am pretty homesick.

You may think that this depression is a little out of nowhere but, truth-be-told it isn't. I have chosen not to write about the more frustrating and depressing parts of living in Bangkok and Thailand, because I want this blog to be entertaining as well as informational. But there are many hard parts about living in a city that I've never really experienced, and there is especially a lot of hard parts about being a farang living in Thailand. The city can really wear on you if you're not used to it, I think. In addition to the barrage of sewage smells and pollution, you're bombarded with noise all the time. The biggest thing that bothers me is probably just the mass of people that is everywhere. You can't get away from other people in the city, not like you can in Iowa, and you definately can't get away from the city itself, not without a three-hour bus ride.

The street I live on:

Being a farang has its own stigma in Thailand. I think that though they are very used to foreigners here, it does seem like you get stared at quite a bit. However, sometimes I think I don't get stared at anymore than in America, but I'm much more aware of them. I don't blame the people for staring even when they are, but overtime you become very aware of yourself all the time, and it leads to quite a bit of self-consciousness. Everyone also wants to take advantage of that "blue-eye special" where prices are 10-times more for you than Thais (because, after all, being white is like having a dollar-sign stamped on your head). You really realize the shadiness of systems here when you can haggle with a government employee suspiciously charging admission to an island, or a park, or whatever. We landed at an island on our trip around Koh Phi Phi and were confronted by a regular looking Thai in a government-issue shirt claiming that the island was a national park and that we had to pay 400-baht per person for entry. We deliberated amongst ourselves while we decided whether he was legit or not and what we would do if he wasn't (what DO you do?) and by the time we talked to him again, he decided our indecision was enough to drop the price to 200-baht per person. For some reason, it doesn't seem like you should be able to haggle with a government employee. Anyway, enough complaining (about that!). I realize that the combination of exchange-rate and the general comparative wealth of nations, farangs ARE rich here, anyone would be stupid to claim otherwise, but it does suck to be on the receiving end of a policy that assumes all foreigners are rich when you are at the low-income end OF those foreigners. After all, I am on a budget given to me by the school!

One of the views on the way to school.

There is a reason for the precipitation of my sudden and general dissatisfaction of my situation. Last Friday I became ill with a sore throat that developed into a very sore throat, combined with terrible pressure headaches in the back of my head, and (worst) my ears were in extreme pain with a loud ringing in the left one. On Monday I went to Bangkok Nursing Home, a private hospital here in Bangkok, which was REFRESHINGLY efficient, even by American standards (which is x1000 for Thailand). I was told I had a severe infection of my tonsils and ears and was given two shots in my hip (ouch!) and some medication for. However, Tuesday a gnawing pain developed in my stomach that grew into very serious and severe stomach pains in my upper abdomen (between above my belly-button and my breast-bone). I got more worried when I would wake up at all hours of the night with this pain amplified even more, along with the fear that I would throw-up. The Dr. told me that the medication would be hard on my stomach, so I chalked it up to that and tried to stick with it. The infection in my throat went away by Tuesday night (incredibly fast antibiotics, particularly for how wide-spread and terrible the infection was), but I was plagued by the goddawful pain in my stomach that has started subsiding today (Saturday). I stupidly "toughed it out" all week, and woke up every night with the terrible pain, and was plagued with it in between meals. Many times I thought about going back to the hospital, but I thought since I had a follow-up appointment on Friday I would wait. I happily returned Friday, in hopes that the Dr. could take care of my stomach problem, where he told me that it was probably the medication that hurt me so severely, and that I could even have some small internal bleeding which would subside soon. He said I could stop taking the medication and switch to another antibiotic, for which I was very thankful. It is true the cure can be worse than the sickness, I believe. Unfortunately, even as I write this I still have severe ringing and hearing-loss in my left ear, which he prescribed an anti-histamine for and said would be gone by the time I finished it. I can only hope so, dealing with this ringing and hearing-loss has about drove me crazy (and has, obviously, made me a little more uncomfortable, depressed, and irritable than I would ordinarily be).

I am also quite homesick. I miss all my family and friends, and find myself missing autumn more than I ever thought possible. I don't know how people here deal with having such subtle changes of season. I would have never thought that I would want to feel cold as much as I do here. I look at pictures of people back home in jackets and I think how great it must be. It seems like its been an eternity since I have seen fall, and since I've missed it for this year, it makes me think a lot more about how great it will be to see it next year.

The only orange I've been seeing:

Lastly, its easy to picture a foreign place as mystical and idyllic. I thought that Thailand would be refreshing and nobody would believe in material goods because they are all Buddhist, and that people would be friendly and wise. Instead I've come to the point where I realize that people are just as materialistic here as America (maybe worse), and that, like America, Buddhism only runs skin-deep for most people (though, as in America, there are plenty of exceptions). I've seen a monk smoke a cigarette. Though I find most monks very agreeable, you can imagine how that sight would disillusion someone. For all their differences, people are people the world around.

Oh, I think everyone should definately check out my friend Tyler Kirk's blog about Thailand as well. He has had similar thoughts of the low-point right now and has some nice stuff on his blog that I have missed or haven't had time to write about. Visit Tyler Kirk's cleverly-named "Captains Log." We tend to think a lot alike. We even started one of our posts with the same picture of Tyler's diahrrea medication, woo! Tyler comes up with really great and thoughtful posts so check out his blog. His "depression photos" are way better than mine, too!

Well, I'm sorry to make such a not-particularly-interesting (or well-thought-out) post, but I guess that is whats going on. I'm thankful to have this time because it makes me realize that going to the other side of the Earth isn't always best, and I'm happy that I can say I'm not one of the travelers around Thailand whose only reason for traveling is to get away from home.