the untamed north: trip report, part ii

As promised, here’s the lowdown on our upland mountainous jungle trek.

We paid 1,300 baht (approx. $40) per person for a guided 3-day trek with lodging for two nights (on the trek, of course), food, elephant rides, some rafting, and… fun. We were paired with 4 other travelers to bring the total up to 10 people, 11 counting our guide. 2 others joined us the second day. We really lucked out and got a really great group. There were “the six Americans,” (AKA: us), 4 Dutch, and one Slovenian, bravely exploring Thailand on her own. The greatest asset to the group and the thing that really made our entire adventure was our guide, Good. I’m not saying he was a good guide; that was his name. I mean, he WAS a good guide, but his name was Good. He was our guide. *sigh*

The full group.

Anyway! Everyone on our trip agrees we couldn’t imagine a better guide than Good. Quiet at first, we were soon treated to Good’s exceptional use of the English language (with just enough language barrier for hilarity), fantastic sense of humor, great knowledge of the jungle and wildlands, and amazing COOKING skills! Oh, he can sing, too!

Good and I posing.

But I’m putting the horse before the cart a little here. The first part of our adventure didn’t really involve Good at all. We traversed the first few kilometers of our journey upon the backs of the largest land animals on Earth. As we awaited our mounts, we watched them first cross the river to get to us. It is really amazing what terrain these beasts can traverse. After Vanessa and I stepped onto our elephant, I was told to straddle the thing’s neck, instead of sitting on the mounted seat. I nervously jumped down to the neck where I frightfully rode the rest of the way, feeling every shift in the head very acutely. The precariousness of my position was especially apparent when our elephant would meander to the cliff side of the trail to munch on the dirt there! I’m not sure why our elephant loved to eat dirt so much; maybe he did it just to make me feel as if I was going to fall off every time. At any rate, when I saw the path the elephants were to walk, I felt sure that they couldn’t possibly make it through the incredibly steep and muddy slope. I was proved very wrong as our elephants incredibly walked up terrain you would swear was impassable by such an animal. The best SUV would have had NO chance against this path, but these elephants calmly navigated some amazing terrain. I thought our ride was at an end when it started to rain heavily, making the path even slippier, but the elephants had no problem with the torrential downpour. We dismounted our elephants later to begin our trek, thoroughly impressed with these incredible creatures.

This scene is pretty scary if you’re the one on the head of the elephant:

The first part of our trek was led by Good through the rain. It was miserably slippery and wet, with parts of the loosely-defined “trail” transformed into small rivers, red with clay. However, it was also incredibly beautiful at the same time, and in retrospect, I’m glad I got to experience the rain in the jungle.

After Tyler and I noticed our guide’s choice of footwear, we were quickly sure that our “trek” would be a joke. We didn’t criticize Good’s Crocs to his face, but we felt they were a sure-fire sign that the “trek” would be geared toward out-of-shape farang. As it turned out, this judgment was a little premature. The first day’s trek was nothing short of grueling, with several very difficult climbs, balancing acts, and river crossings. The pace Good set seemed ridiculously fast; I stayed with him as a personal challenge, only to be very impressed when every member of the group managed to keep up (more or less). One of the Dutch would later inform us he was very impressed with the strength and endurance of the American women. Girl power!

Midway through the trek, while waiting for the group to catch up to Good and I, I asked Good about his Crocs:

Me: “Hey Good, how do you wear those things doing this?”

Good: “… They are good… light. … but you need the fake ones.”

Me (assuming there must be something special about “the fake ones”): “Why?”

Good (looking as if he’s trying to come up with a reason): “ … They are cheaper.”

I still have no idea how he sported those through the trek without slipping and killing himself. You can witness his impressive climbing pace in this short video. Note the red Crocs. Oh, and, if you listen, you can hear the slightly eerie, slightly enchanting sound of “ching-rit,” apparently some sort of cicada or cricket that lives in the jungle. They make a noise like a cicada mixed with someone making a crystal glass sing.

After our several hours of trekking, we came upon a small path to go to our first hill-tribe overnight village. On either side of the path were fields of rice or corn, on a very steep slope. It is hard to believe that all of the planting and harvesting must be done by hand.

Tyler on the path.

The village was very secluded; I believe it may have had a terrible mud road leading to it somewhere (most likely impassable during the wet season), but most of the hill tribe villages we saw were connected only by foot-paths, and we spotted people carrying large amounts of goods on their backs and heads, and in their arms, with the help of yokes. This particular village was of the Lahu tribe. The houses are all built on stilts. While entering the town on the path, we saw a lone man working on building such a structure. Good informed me that it was the custom of this particular tribe to work alone, unlike others which will come together to raise a house. He said unless two people were needed, the man would continue to build by himself.

Tyler flirting with the locals:

We were pleasantly surprised by our dinner, prepared by Good, which was one of the best I’ve had in Thailand. I’m not entirely sure what I ate; all I caught was that there was (apparently) pumpkins in one of the two main dishes. I had a newfound respect for Good and his ability to cook! The highlight of the meal, and a story not properly conveyed through written word (but I’ll try anyway), was when Good picked up a guitar and began to sing. He has a very good voice and was singing “Let it Be” by the Beatles when Vanessa got up to help herself to some more rice. The table, listening to Good sing, fell completely silent when Good stopped playing in the middle of the refrain, and turned to look at Vanessa. Vanessa, obviously embarrassed and not sure of what to do, squeaked “Can I have some more rice?” then, without even getting any, hurried to her chair and sat down to listen again. Good, having not answered, turned to the table and continued the refrain, improvising the lyrics: “Let her eat… let her eat.” I’m afraid Vanessa is still embarrassed!

Tyler and I in our hill tribe home.

We witnessed a lot of great sights on our trek and had a lot of fun. Tyler’s string of celebrity look-alike claims grew even higher, as well! Up until the trip, Tyler had already received comments that he looked like: Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Leonardo DiCaprio. The Dutch added an uncanny Enrique Iglesias to that list. I think it might be the best one yet. The only thing I got was the assuring that my nose was “Greek” and that I resembled Woody Harrelson.

Well, the trek is not captured at all by pictures, but here are a few anyway:

This helicopter pad was in the middle of the forest in a clearing. I’m still unsure as to how the pad got there, perhaps a throwback from the military days of the region.

Here is our good guide Good in the water (no, he’s not defecating).

And yes, there were stray dogs… EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE JUNGLE!!! Navigating the treacherous paths. Thailand is nuts.

We finished up the trek with a fun rafting experience, then some bamboo rafts after that. The best moment was when a giant water spider was on our raft and everyone was freaking out, and our seasoned bamboo rafting guide tried to swipe it off the raft. It quickly crawled up to his knee as the girls literally screamed. He jokingly “freaked out” for a moment, only to laugh and brush it off into the water. Had it been me, the river would have been slightly higher… with my urine.

Well, that’s all for now. Part iii of the trip comes shortly!